the divine mockery of words

Its quite a moon. I am a little lost in it. Not in a bad way, although the line between good and bad is a little blurry on nights like these… things just, are…

This is what I am drinking to keep the ghosts away:

Its the key ingredients of the Darkarita!

Viz:

The Darkarita

  • A jigger of Sauza Tequila Blanco
  • A small jigger (pony) of Cointreau
  • A splash of Blue Curacao (for the darkness you know, plus drinking blue stuff makes me smirk)
  • A healthy squoosh of fresh lime (about a third of a small lime but go with your tastebuds)
  • A smidgen of lemon juice (just a brief squeeze)
  • half teaspoon of palm sugar
  • Coarse ground salt

Chuck everything but the salt in a blender, with ice, blast the hell out of it.
Rub lime juice around the rim of the glass, grind the glass into a saucer of salt so the rim is coated. Pour tasty goodness into glass. Sit back and be endarkened.

So now you know the secrets of my success. Ignore. Avoid. Hide in the cellar until they go away. Scraping fingers at handle, whispers, curses.
Its a waiting game. Its only when you’re relatively sane that you know that they do go away, eventually, and you just have to let it play out. The ghost dance in your head. Some of you will understand what I’m talking about, some of you won’t. It doesn’t matter. The divine mockery of words…

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Crazy search

Playing with google. Together we invented a mental health search engine. This is in beta gamma delta, so please feel free to quiz our little crazybot, and if you find the results unsatisfactory do tell, and suggest any sites you’ve found useful so I can feed them into the madweaseltron’s brainbox. Viz:

What do you want from me?

In a nod to echimp and in the spirit of lightening the load that this blog must sometimes place on its readers in uttery misery and self absorption, I continue my recent trend of not whining constantly and present some interesting search queries that enabled our fellow stoatpilgrims to stumble upon this humble altar of weasel worship.

club weasel
Yes. We are here. Speak up friend.

scariest things
Well, *blush* you flatterer you…

two steps from hell
About that, yes. Possibly even closer.

cyclothemia
Wossat then? Probably one of those clever dx things that everyone else seems to know so much about. Hang on *scurries away to wikipedia*. Ok, I think you mean Cyclothymia which is a chronic, but less extreme, form of bipolar disorder that consists of short periods of mild depression alternating with short periods of hypomania. The onset of each phase is separated by short periods of normal mood. This diagnosis is excluded if the patient has had either a manic episode or a major depressive episode.
Yes, what of it?

ferret dominance
I’m all for it.

honey possum teeth wikipedia
Er. Ok.

university of birm. swim lessons
I think you wandered of the path there stranger…

what makes people wake up dizzy
What makes people wake up not dizzy would be more useful to me.

why do potoroos stink
I don’t know, why do potoroos stink? *waits expectantly*

all that’s sacred comes from youth
dedication, naive and true
with no power, nothing to do
i still remember, why don’t you…don’t you…
this is not for you
this is not for you
this is not for you
oh, never was for you…fuck you…

ferret papaya harmful
Weasel kumquat encouraging.

clever titles for gray wolves
Sir Pointy Teeth Hacklespike the Third.

hints that you should know when you run into a human trafficked
Good lord. Erm. Call the police? Why on earth would you be asking such a thing?

professional ferret pictures
I may have some in my posession yes.

small eurasian mammal closely related to the weasel
Mink! Stop the clock!

Internet dominance campaign

I am now famous. I am 1st in google for ‘weasel club’, 4th for ‘two steps from hell’, and 5th for ‘rapier whit’

I may begin to slide niche phrases into my posts that will guarantee me visitors who are looking for completely unrelated information.
Something like ‘How to sneak across the border between Mexico and America – top tips’.
That might just get me arrested by shadowy agents and tortured for my involvement in the human trafficking trade.
I doubt my feeble protestations about wanting to bump my blogstats would cut the mustard somehow.

Its not just about cheap tricks to boost visitor numbers though. I feel it is more of a quantum tempting of fate. Teasing possibilities from reality that might otherwise never occur. Who knows where a visitor might go once lured onto these silken electronic sheets? They might start chatting to another weasel in the chat box, they might strike an accord, develop a firm friendship, fall in love, or invent time travel together. Who knows? Maybe I exaggerate ladies and gentlemen, but I say, nay demand, that it is our quantum duty to shake people from their electronic tram lines and shunt them onto roads less travelled.

23 skidoo!