Thats how I feel. The pre-match posturing is going in my head, theres lots of faffing around, lots of delays, conjecture, a few minor celebrity interviews, but theres a tension, as everyone waits for the big event.
Before I begin to warble, can I point out the new ferretsounds device in the top right. See it? (points with much grandiosity like a be-leotarded magicians assistant, or a retarded assistant more likely) It will be populated with some soundtracks to my gloommusings, so you too can sing along as you read. If you have any requests, just give me a shout.
you need to click on a tune of choice to get it to start. I didn’t want to bombard people with tunes without prior consent. That would be rude, and may result in the onset of severe depression in many previously happy people.
The only problem with the clever device is that if you click to a different page in ferretworld, it resets, so don’t click if you’re getting into a tune! There’s no fastforward on this thing…you’ll have to sit through the whole track again. Nooooooooooooooo!
If you get hooked on one of the tunes, just contact me and I will ‘enable‘ the supply of the merchandise. I don’t want you addicts sucking off my bandwidth to feed your filthy music habits.
So. Back to me. Its why you’re all (all! Like theres more than 2 of you…isn’t the internet such a sad place.) here after all. Lord knows why (and I’m sure that he does…I wish he’d explain it to me sometime…)
Yes. Its going to be one of those posts, with branching parentheses (great name for a band btw) and subplots, flashbacks and all manner of jiggerypokery that’ll leave you dizzy and weak at the knees.
At the end of it, I still won’t have constructed any kind of theme or overarching subtext or indeed a moral, and you’ll be left feeling cheated and somewhat let down. This post is beginning to sound like one of my relationships isn’t it?
We don’t know ferret, you never tell us anything juicy like that…
Oh god, now I’m turning all minxy, I can’t have that. She’s a total basketcase. Stop it right now or you’ll be flying around the world looking for a good time. (I said stop it!)
I need a beginning. Yes I know I had a perfectly good one, but I went and ruined it by digressing.
Start over. Deep breath.
I have a migraine starting. Hows that for a good start? My right eyeball feels like someone is trying to poke it out by thrusting a stick through my head from the back of the skull and forcing my eyeball out from behind.
I trust this is not in fact the case.
I also feel as if my sinuses are closing down, in a way akin to when there is a hull breach and the blast doors automatically seal to preserve the atmospheric pressure. What do you mean you have no idea what I’m talking about? Have you never being in an interstellar vehicle when there is a hull breach? Philistines.
To combat this evil brainmonster I am going to down a cup of freshly pressed columbian (coffee not cocaine, mores the pity) and 50mg of sumatriptan. The general onset of this combo usually takes about 20-45 minutes depending on how quickly I take it when the migraine starts moving in, and whether I can relax or not while its doing its thing. Sumatriptan causes constriction of the blood vessels in the head, and dilation of said blood vessels is reckoned to be a reason for migraines. Caffeine also constricts blood vessels in the head, hence its addition to some headache tablets.
Caffeine alone doesn’t help my migraines, but in combination with the sumatriptan seems to work better than the sumatriptan alone, so theres some kind of synergy going on there.
Theres also a whole tie-in with sumatriptan acting as a serotonin leveller, because serotonin tends to go totally wonky prior to migraine attacks.
Are my migraines linked with the depression? Most probably. When I started on prozac the frequency of migraine attacks reduced quite a bit. I still get them once or twice a week. When I was on Citalopram a while back, I had a period where I maybe 4-5 days of the week with a migraine. If I wasn’t depressed before, having a headache every day sure would have done it. Its the reason I had to come off citalopram. It worked pretty well on me, but having a headache is no improvement on being depressed. I was just miserable for a different reason, only with a migraine I couldn’t even do anything at all. At least miserable you can kind of slope around looking mournful, eating the occasional bit of toast and marmite and grumbling. 😉
Oh. Woe is me.
Sumatriptan is wonderful though. I only found it 2 years ago, shortly after my nervous breakdown and getting my current doctor, who, although not a great conversationalist is pretty good at handing out the right drugs, and does at least listen to my ramblings about what drug I want to try next. Its had a fairly amazing impact on my life. Previously when a migraine hit me, I’d be out of action for at least 24 hours. People who don’t get migraines don’t quite understand what all the fuss is about. They work through headaches, why can’t you? Seriously. A headache is something that migraine sufferers consider a precursor to actual pain. I tend to ponder on a headache for a few hours, trying to assess whether it is going to evolve and worsen into a migraine. A headache is childs play. Of course you can work through them. They don’t really hurt that much.
A migraine is like being stabbed in the head, eyeball, temple, repeatedly, for hours, while you are dripfed psychotropic drugs that make you nauseous, and make your vision totally screwed up. Objects take on a curious quality, they shine, and everything has an odd timelapse quality, making trails when you move your head. Light is painful. Noise is unbearable.
Pffft to your headache.
Anyway…I’ve been writing this post for about an hour and a half now. The sumatriptan is starting to take effect. I haven’t actually being writing for that long. I keep doing other things. I can’t look directly at the screen too long because its too bright. I would put on my new prescription shades, but they are a slightly different shape to my glasses and my eyes don’t want to have to deal with the different perspective they lend to the world while I’m in this state.
I should get to some point or other, but what the hell. This rambling is keeping my mind occupied and stopping me thinking about all the things I should have done this week but haven’t.
Ok. the triptan is really starting to make me stoned now, so I’m going to publish this and add to it hopefully as we go along.
My mind is melting. Which is nice. Seek respite in oblivion. Thats the ticket.
Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.