I am in the office. Trying to get my brain into gear.
It’s not working.
I haven’t slept well this week, going back to work has thrown my mind into a loop. I was relaxed, and suddenly I am not. I am having stress and anxiety dreams, but not really sure if they’re trying to tell me something or just mirroring my internal stress and anxiety.
C is working non stop to meet a deadline, which is fine, I am dealing with that better than I usually do (perhaps I’m… growing…nah, surely not) but the amount of time I’m spending alone in my head is perhaps exacerbating (is that how you spell that?) the weirdness going on. Maybe not. Maybe it’s just allowing it to trundle along in its own way and I am dealing with it as a normal person should, i.e without flipping out/having an anxiety overload/getting depressed. Perhaps a somewhat low phase is ok? I don’t know…I don’t know what is normal. I’m so trained to look out for possible signs that I’m about to nosedive into doomcloud central that I worry whenever I am less than perfect inside my mind. (Perfect for me you understand, is really just the absence of anxiety)
I should just let this run it’s course maybe.
Oh lordy. I don’t know how to be a person… I didn’t expect this when I was wishing for stability. I don’t even know what is normality.
Ok. It’s fine. Breathe.
I will have coffee. And write something about web office tools. That will make it all better. If I finish an article I will do the happy dance and things will be glittery and shiny again.
Go Team Shiny!